All the Ways to Screw it Up
by BeautifulMystery
Summary: How many ways can a perfect relationship get screwed up? --song fictions--
1. 1: Tourniquet

A/N: These stories are all fan-fics, based on songs by many artists, such as Evanescence and Dashboard Confessional. The stories are rated R for many reasons. Not necessarily for sexual content, but for language, violence, suicide, drugs, cutting, and many other dark things. I promise that these stories are no reflection of my feelings or actions, just results of a sick mind.

Disclaimer: If I owned this song or these characters, life would be sweet, but it is not, so I do not. ONLY POSTING THIS ONCE

"Tourniquet," by Evanescence

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The blade dug deep into the tanned arm of Hogwarts' golden girl, Hermione Granger, giving her a rush of relief, something that she had come to depend on in the past few weeks. Her life had come to be so miserable that she resorted to cutting.

'Better that than drugs,' she thought miserably, watching blood trickle down her arm. The stream of crimson liquid fascinated her. It carried her pain away, yet only for a little while.

_'I tried to kill the pain_

_But only brought more...'_

In about twenty minutes, she knew the cut would start to sting, hurting her more and more with each passing moment. She saw this part as her punishment for being such a lowlife, such a foul, dirty person. She wasn't worth anything.

'Don't let him convince you into thinking that,' a small voice whispered in the back of her head. She sighed heavily, wondering what happened to her life.

She knew that somehow, in some sadistic way, it led back to Draco Malfoy, the epitome of a beautiful, intelligent, bad boy. She fell into his snare, his evil trap.

_'So much more...'_

He had started at the beginning of seventh, when they began to share the Head dormitories. He slowly warmed up to her, and swept her off her feet.

As painful as the memories were, she couldn't stop them from coming. Her therapy for this was to curl herself into a ball on the floor. Knowing her luck, she would throw up like she normally did.

_'I lay dying...'_

He began to even be nice to her in public, shocking everyone. Yet, it was all a ploy, a filthy, dirty ploy to get her in bed.

_'And I'm pouring crimson regret...'_

She ran to the bathroom, vomiting blood. She was developing a very serious problem, but her physical health no longer bothered her.

'Thank God he doesn't know what he's done to you,' she thought, crouching over the toilet, coughing.

He seduced her, told her that he loved her, and they wound up in bed together one night. She gave him her virginity with an open heart, and he snatched it away. This was three weeks and four days before.

_'And betrayal...'_

Four days after she slept with him, he broke her heart in public, revealing everything in public, and letting her know how much he enjoyed being better than her for once.

Harry and Ron never truly talked to her about the situation, hoping that maybe he cursed her, or threatened her. She tried telling them everything in hopes they might help her, and they silenced her, picking Quidditch over her.

She died inside that day.

_I'm dying..._

She began to cry as she wiped the vomit off of her face. She looked in the mirror and was shocked by her reflection. Her face was pale, her eyes bloodshot. She fell to her knees in prayer, hoping for any help that she could get.

_Praying_

She used to be a headstrong, confident, brave person. Malfoy had turned her into a coward, a pathetic, miserable fool. She looked at her arm, to the open wound she had cut moments ago. It was still bleeding. She cut very deep this time.

_Bleeding_

She looked at all of the scars and scabs on her arms, wondering where she went so wrong. She thought in silence for a few moments, until she picked up some noises coming from Malfoy's room. She listened hard as realization struck her. In that moment, the pain was so unbearable. She could hear him and whoever he was with clear as day.

_And screaming_

She released a blood-curdling scream, letting all of her emotions go. She had gone beyond the brink of insanity. She let all of her hurt and her pain go. She enjoyed the pain that the screaming was causing. She couldn't stop screaming, the pain was getting more intense, and she knew that she would attract the attention of the wrong people. It felt so good to release everything in her scream.

She quite suddenly ran out of air, and stopped screaming, feeling empty, numb. It was the best feeling she ever had, and wanted it repeated.

Hermione heard Malfoy's voice getting closer to the bathroom, inquiring to whomever about what she, Hermione, had done to produce such a heart-stopping scream.

She was almost tempted to pretend like she was going to kill herself, to make him pay for all the pain he caused, but she wasn't brave enough to do that. Instead, she fled, out of the bathroom, out of the dormitory, out of the school.

She found herself at the lake, a place full of serenity, her favorite place on campus.

_Am I too lost to be saved?_

Hermione knew, deep inside, that she had quite literally gone insane. Her heart ached, her mind ached, her stomach ached, her throat ached. She knew that she needed to talk to someone, but she couldn't. She was so afraid.

_Am I too lost?_

She stared at the serene lake for a half hour, trying to sort out feelings, trying to bring back some of her old traits.

She shifted her gaze to her latest cut, mesmerized by the swollen pink flesh. Of course she had taken this too far. All you had to do was look at her scarred arms.

_My God, my tourniquet. Return to me salvation..._

She knew what she had to do. Sighing, she turned away from the serene lake and headed back to the dorm.

Once she got there, she mustered up her remaining courage and knocked on Malfoy's door. She waited for a few moments until he opened the door, slightly disgruntled, slightly surprised. He raised one eyebrow and spat, "What, Granger?"

"Come," she ordered, catching his interest. He followed her as she led him out of the dorm.

"Where the hell are we going, Granger?"

"You'll see," she croaked. Her voice was very weak and gravelly from screaming.

They walked in silence until he asked, "Why were you screaming?" His voice was soft, caring, the way he used to talk to her.

"Silence," she whispered. She didn't want to deal with him right now.

They made their way towards Dumbledore's office. Malfoy gasped slightly as she made her way to his door, hoping beyond all hope that he was awake.

_Do you remember me?_

_Lost for so long..._

The door opened before she could knock. Standing before her was none other than Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall standing behind him. "Take a seat, Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy. We've been expecting you."

Hermione sat down tentatively, wondering how they would react, how even Malfoy would react, to what she's been doing. She looked over at Malfoy, who was already seated. He bowed his head in shame; a sign that he knew what she was about to tell.

"So, Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, what exactly brings you to my office at such an hour?"

Hermione sighed again. She looked down at her feet and muttered, "I need help, sir."

_Will you be on the other side, or will you forget me?_

"With what, Miss Granger?"

"This," she whispered, lifting the sleeves of her jacket, showing them all the scars. There were dozen, the most prominent of them the one she had done only hours ago.

Professor McGonagall gasped, Professor Dumbledore stood up and began to pace quickly, and Malfoy sat quietly, looking at her arms in shock.

It was silent for an excruciating five minutes until Malfoy whispered, "Is that- because-"

"Yes," she whispered.

Dumbledore stopped pacing, comprehension dawning in his eyes. "Miss Granger, will you please explain exactly how this came to be?"

She sighed again. "It started about a month after school started..."

_I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming_

"...and after that, I didn't know what to do, so I started doing this."

_Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?_

"Have you done anything else to yourself besides these cuts?" His voice shook slightly.

"No, but I keep puking blood, and I can't think straight, and I'm just losing grip on reality," she whispered, starting to cry.

"Miss Granger, what were you thinking, doing this to yourself?" Professor McGonagall blurted out. "Are you crazy or something? A month ago you were almost guaranteed the valedictorian position! Do you really think that cutting yourself was the answer to your problems? You stupid, stupid girl!"

_My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation..._

Hermione got up and fled the room, her reality shattered. She was getting used to running away from things that she didn't want to deal with. Her life was over. She wanted it to end immediately.

**_I long to die..._**

She ran out to the lake again, pulling out her knife, feeling the need to cut herself again.

She poised the knife in a fresh spot when someone grabbled her arm away.

_My wounds cry from the grave..._

"Hermione! Stop!" Malfoy cried out, tears in his eyes.

"Go the hell away, Malfoy!" she screamed. "Since when did you ever fucking care about me? Since when?"

"Since a long time ago, Hermione! This is wrong, you need to stop."

"Let go of my arm."

_My soul cries for deliverance..._

"No."

_Will I be denied?_

"Malfoy, let go of my arm before I slice into you first!"

He dropped her arm. "You don't want to do this, Hermione!"

_Christ, tourniquet..._

"How the hell would you know? You know nothing about me!"

She poised the knife again, only this time at her wrist, ready to gouge until she hit an artery. She was ready to die.

"Don't do it, Hermione, please," he screamed, reaching for her arm again.

"Don't touch me. Don't speak. Just watch. See what you've done, Malfoy? This is what happens when you really hurt someone. You make them want to hurt themselves. So, I'm going to demonstrate this to you." She started crying, watching his tortured expression, his apprehension, his hope, his fear. "You are going to watch me do this, and you are going to learn what happens when you toy with love. You hear that?" Her voice began to rise. "I fucking love you! And this is what I get for love!"

**_My suicide..._**

"Hermione, please," he whispered, crying, watching Hermione pierce her skin with the knife, cutting deeper and deeper, watching her blood gush out of her wrist.

"This is what you did, Malfoy," she said, throwing the knife, knowing that she would live. He, of course, did not.

"I love you, Hermione, and I am so sorry. My father found out about us and I had to do something to save my life. I never meant for this to happen."

He gathered her in his arms, pulling out his wand and muttering a healing charm on her wrist.

_Return to me salvation..._

She wrapped her arms around him, sobbing, happy once again to be in safe arms. She had once again found her salvation in no other than Draco Malfoy.


	2. 2: The Ring

This one isn't a song fiction, but it works.

"The Ring"

Hermione stood in the doorway of the sliding glass door, feeling a cool breeze on her face. She had been working for three straight days, fruitlessly searching for a man that she absolutely had to find. It was her job, her mission.

The man she searched for had the key to the end of the tragedies that constantly befell the wizarding community. The plan to end everything had been started, yet she didn't know if it could continue without him.

"Hermione," a kind voice whispered, resting a hand on her shoulder. It was Ron. "Go home. Get some sleep. You're wearing yourself out."

She sighed. As if she could go home. "Ron, I can't. I have to find him."

He took his hand off her shoulder and stood next to her. "You're not going to find him like that! You need to get some sleep!"

"Ron, no. I can't go home! He's not there, and- no."

"Then come to my apartment."

She looked at her desk, with the stack of newspapers and the search party lists. Before she could decide, Dumbledore came in.

He looked grim. "Hermione, any progress?"

"No, sir."

"I fear his death, Hermione."

She went cold inside. Instead of responding, she went to the desk once more, tears in her eyes.

She searched for three hours before she stopped. She sat, absentmindedly twirling the rings on her finger, not noticing their presence. She did this for a full minute before she actually looked at the rings.

A wizard wedding is almost exactly like a muggle wedding, with one difference. A red stone is set in the wedding band. When one of the spouses dies, it turns black. When a spouse is in danger, white; injured, gray. Hermione noticed that her stone was pure white. She had seen no gray yet, so she knew, for now, that he was alive, with no serious injury- yet.

She watched the stone, transfixed, until she noticed its color changing.

She screamed as someone entered the office. They jumped.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir," she mumbled, staring at the ring.

"Hermione?" a deep voice asked from inside the robe.

She recognized the voice immediately. "Yes, sir?"

"We found him."

Dumbledore and Ron looked at each other at this statement. They had come in after her scream.

"Wh- where?"

"His father's mansion. They've discovered his secret. They plan to kill him."

She gasped, tears welling in her eyes. "Blaise, is there anything we can do?"

"Yes," Remus Lupin said, entering the room. "We can raid the Manor. This is part of the plan. We must summon the other. Ron, if you will. I must speak with Mr. Zabani Albus, we need Harry." All the others went to do what needed to be done, while Hermione just stood, shocked. "Hermione, if you will."

She came closer to Remus, looking at her ring. It was starting to turn a light gray. "This is the most important plan to bring down Voldemort. There is much risk. Many can die." He glanced at her ring. "Yet, many can be saved." Hermione only nodded.

"Okay, what part can I play in this?" Blaise said. Hermione had had no idea that Blaise was a spy, too. No wonder that the Order had had many one-ups on Voldemort.

"You'll need to give us an idea of where everyone is, especially Voldemort and both Mr. Malfoys."

"I have a map, not too unlike the Marauder's Map," Blaise smiled sheepishly at Hermione as he took the map out. "It's revealed already. Don't worry about wiping it blank."

"Thank you, Blaise. Be safe, stay out of the line of fire until we need you. You know the risks."

"All right. When can we expect you?"

Lupin looked at Hermione's ring again. "Give us an hour. Thank you."

Blaise reached out and grabbed Hermione's hands. "Don't worry. He'll be okay."

Hermione hugged him. "Thank you."

The group was preparing to leave. Hermione was ready. She had her wand and her wedding ring. She quickly prayed for him.

"Are you sure you can do this, Hermione?" Mrs. Weasley asked. Hermione looked at her ring, once again. The gray was getting darker.

"No, but I'm sure that I can't not do this," she said resolutely, looking around at the Aurors, and the Order. They were all there to support her. "Good luck."

She got a bunch of nods, and, with that, they apparated away.

It was dark on the grounds of the manor that they were about to raid. Remus came up to Hermione, map in hand. He pointed to one single dot. 'My husband,' she thought.

"Memorize the location, quickly. It seems that they are keeping him there," he whispered, holding a small light to her ring. "You don't have much time."

She quickly memorized her route. She was afraid. She needed to leave straight away to save him in time. "Disillusion me, please."

He quickly muttered the charm, and patted her on the shoulder. "Good luck, Hermione," he whispered as the Aurors began to charge the house, wands at the ready.

She waited for everyone to get it, then ran, not for the front door, but to the hidden side door. She had never told anyone how often she had snuck into this house under the watchful eye of his father.

She stealthily crept through the hallway and found the correct door, muttering a spell to reveal what spells were on the door, and to see through the door to see if anyone else, or anything else, was in. She only saw alarm spells, and disarmed them all.

She took in a deep breath, and opened the door a crack. She slid in, and re-Illusioned herself. She turned, and gasped.

Draco lay there, unconscious, on the bed, a small pool of blood forming under the bed. She pulled out her wand and woke him up, her chest constricted in fear.

His eyes opened slightly, and registered her face. She began to cry as she grabbed his hand, holding it in her own. "What happened? I've been searching for you for three days!"

"Oh, God, Hermione, we have to get out of here. They're going to kill us both," he whispered.

"First, let me fix you up." She examined him, and used various healing charms to temporarily heal his wounds. "Now, we need to get wherever Voldemort is, because they're going to use the charm to kill him."

He got up slowly, tears welling in his eyes. He leaned over and kissed her. They broke apart quickly, and, without words, got up and headed towards the main dining hall, Draco leading her.

Before they entered, they heard a bloodcurdling scream. They rushed to enter and watched as Harry killed Lord Voldemort. They then watched Lucius Malfoy run to Voldemort's dead body.

He turned to face Draco and Hermione. "You filthy Mudblood lover! You are not my son! I'll kill you!" he screamed, never hearing Draco mutter, "Avada Kedavra."

The Order watched as the second-in-command fell to the floor. Draco put his arm around Hermione, and kissed her forehead. Blaise then emerged from another room, panting. He smiled when he looked and saw the two dead men.

"Hey. Thanks for saving my life, Blaise."

"Anytime, old pal. Bet you were surprised though, weren't ya?"

"I had always hoped that your better side would drive you more then the bad."

Blaise smiled at his friend and his wife. "Well, I had always hoped someone would show you your good side," he said as he walked away.

Most of the Order had gone to take care of stripping the house of evil as Draco kissed Hermione again, holding her close.

Before he could take her back to his old room, he whispered, "I think things are finally going to get better for us, love."


End file.
